Sticks and Stones
by Azyla Kai
Summary: Robin goes searching for Starfire after the events of Troq.


_Sticks and Stones _

Robin entered the common room. He scanned the room and let out a small sigh of disappointment. She wasn't there.

"Have any of you seen Starfire?" Robin asked as he watched Cyborg attempt to plow Beast Boy's car off the digital track. Beast Boy seemed to have taken notice though as he braked just in time to avoid the attack.

A small round of various negative answers was the response Robin received. Robin's mouth twitched into a small frown. "Try the roof; she spends a fair amount of time up there." Beast Boy said as he tried desperately to blast Cyborg's blue and white car with his green laser.

"Thanks," Robin said sounding a little let down as he left the common room. He had already tried the roof…and the training room, garage, storage bays, green house. He had, in fact, looked almost everywhere. He was running out of places for her to hide. The only place he hadn't tried was her room. This troubled Robin all the more.

Starfire rarely, if ever, spent time in her room or by herself. She was always somewhere someone else was or was likely to be. It was as if she needed to be around people. If Starfire was in her room all alone, it would only confirm what Robin had already suspected. Today's encounter with Val-Yor had hurt her deeply, much more so than she was letting on.

Val-Yor had treated Starfire with contempt, right in front of him, and he hadn't noticed. It wasn't until he sent Cyborg to find out why Starfire's regular warm demeanor had dropped to below freezing t hat he found out. Robin had never thought too much about alien psyches or politics but he had learned something today. Racism is not limited only to Earth.

When they disembarked from the Vernathian vessel, Robin tried to make him see the error of his views. His idealist hope was nothing more than fantasy. The Vernathian couldn't see past his racist nose and even his attempt an apology became another shrouded, barbed remark about her people. When Val-Yor called on Robin to defend him Robin realized there was nothing he could do to change the Vernathian's mind. Robin told the alien to leave.

Robin found himself feeling guilty. Guilty for not seeing what was happening before him, guilty for not standing up for his best friend, guilty for believing that for once idealism was a possibility. He apologized to Starfire for himself and his team.

Starfire told them that there was nothing they could have done, that she understood that this was they way of things. That it wasn't their fault. That she was fine, now that he had left.

The Titans had celebrated with pizza, a time-honored tradition in the T-shaped tower. Starfire was still the brightest and cheeriest during the meal, laughing as Beat Boy and Cyborg poked fun at each other, initiating conversation when things had become too quiet, asking questions about human culture as they arose.

Starfire had put on a brave face. She had fooled the other titans, she had almost fooled him. Robin felt deeply troubled by her actions. He had been down a similar path more than once before. It was Starfire who had saved him then. It was time he made sure she was safe from herself too.

Robin tapped his fist on her door lightly, "Starfire?"

Robin's only response was silence. Feeling slightly defeated but all the more certain of the situation, Robin punched in the standard sequence to open the door. He was a little surprised when it opened without an extra security sequence required. Feeling a little uneasy, Robin took a step inside.

The room was dark. The only source of light was the cold blue light from the moon that evening. It seemed highly out of character for someone usually so bright and caring. Robin took a quick look around the room suddenly realizing he had never been in here since Starfire had moved in and he was surprised. She kept the room sparsely decorated, or even used. She had a chosen few pictures on her walls. She in fact only had two pieces of furniture her dresser and her bed. Somehow he had expected scores of plushies, flowers and cushions, all manner of things soft, warm and fuzzy.

Starfire sat, holding her knees to her chest, near the head of her round bed. She had changed out of her uniform into some of her rare earth clothes. She wore a white hoodie over her periwinkle camisole and a pair of grey yoga pants adorned her long legs. The silver moonlight had climbed part way across the purple sheets, but stopped short of Starfire, leaving her in the darkness. She was staring blankly out the window, she hadn't moved at all, not even flinched to look in the direction of the door.

Robin made his way over and sat at the foot end of her bed. Starfire shifted her gaze to him as he sat down and Robin found himself feeling a little more uncomfortable. It was always her trying to make him feel better and he was unsure of where to start. He began with the question she had neglected to fully answer before, "Starfire, why didn't you say anything?"

Starfire shifted her gaze back to some unknown point outside, her small frown flickered into a soft smile for a brief second before she inhaled to answer "When it comes to the well being of a member of his team, our fearless leader has a tendency to 'fly off the frying pan'?"

Robin felt some of the concern drain from his face and a small smile replace it. "It's 'fly off the handle', Star."

"Oh. Well, handle then."

Starfire shifted her gaze down to her sheets, the small frown returning once again. Robin felt a twinge of pain bite his conscience. She was always so good with helping him in times of need but now that it was her who needed the help, Robin had no idea what to do.

"Starfire, I…Isn't there anything I can do to help?"

"This is something I believe can only be healed with time, Robin." Starfire said shifting her gaze back to him. "You should stop worrying about me. I will be fine. I just need sometime to reflect, and forget."

"Starfire…" Robin began as he reached out to take her hand, covered by the sleeve of her hooded jacket. As he touched her hand, she flinched, just barely, and just barely showing the edges of the gauzed wrapped around her hand. "Starfire? What happened back there?"

"After he had set the quantum eradicator," Starfire paused. Robin watched as her eyes brows knit as she seemed to recall the memory. Or maybe she was trying to decide just how much to let him know. "An energy shock-shield was erected around the area. Val-Yor was on the inside, I was not. I broke through the shock-shield to pull him out."

"Energy burns?" Robin felt anger well up in chest. "Star, he wasn't worth it."

"Some would say the same of friend seemingly turned traitor, or leader who had lost his mind."

Robin exhaled deeply. "You are much better person than anyone I know, Starfire. I'm not so sure I would have done the same."

"I think you may be surprised with yourself." Starfire once again lowered her gaze from Robin's and her small smile was replaced with a frown as a new silence ensued.

"There's more, isn't there?" Robin asked quietly.

"Robin, you need not concern your-"

"I am concerned, Starfire!" Robin interrupted her, a little louder and a little more forcefully than he had intended. Starfire jumped back a little from him in shock. Robin sighed. Things were not going well and Robin was grasping for a way to explain himself. "Raven is living repression, Starfire, you're intensely expressive. For you to keep things bottled up, is just not…Starfire-like and I can't see any good coming from it. You're my best friend Starfire, and you've done so much to help me. I've got to believe I can return that favour somehow."

Robin hadn't noticed that during his rant he had inched his way up the side of the bed until he was sitting next to Starfire until she placed her head on his shoulder. Before Robin knew what he was doing had his arms around her and she had cuddled into him closer, almost as if she was cold and was trying to warm up.

"It has been so long since I felt like I did not belong." Starfire opened up after a few minutes of silence.

"I don't understand."

"Even though I am still adjusting to earth culture and mannerisms after all this time here, I have not felt like I did not belong here for a long time. When Val-Yor began to treat me like… a Troq, I was reminded of how different I still am."

"And when we didn't defend you, you felt alone?"

"I suddenly was not a Titan and I have defined myself as a Titan for so long."

"Starfire, you'll always belong here."

"We were on an alien ship, Robin. All I had left was an identity I abandoned when I crash landed here, duties I ran away from when I last left Tamaran. So I did my best to represent my people."

"Because it was all you had left?"

Starfire nodded. Silence took over once again and at first the discomfort was gone. Then Robin found himself wrestling with a different issue, one that had been bothering him since he had learned of Val-Yor's disposition.

"There is something bothering you." Apparently Starfire had noticed.

"We just practically killed an entire race of aliens and knowing now how he thinks, I can't be sure we've done the right thing."

"The Locrix were a newer issue when I left Tamaran. Although it was decided then that they were to be ignored until they became a threat to Tamaran directly, I was well aware of the threat they were posing and the destruction they had already caused. If I had not known for sure that the Locrix were a threat, I would have said something then."

Robin found himself smiling a little, content with the fact they had done something right or perhaps because he was reminded how Starfire in many ways always seemed like an angel sent to help him. "Thank you, Starfire."

When Starfire didn't respond, Robin, confused and perhaps a little worried, took a look at Starfire. His angel was asleep.

He carefully laid her down on her bed and pulled the blankets up around her neatly. Starfire snuggled into them a little further. Robin took one last look at her face. The grim frown was now banished from her face, replaced with a look of peace. Her demons would leave her alone tonight. "Sweet Dreams, Starfire. I'll see you tomorrow."


End file.
